She Doesn’t Understand
February 9, 2010
At her first visit with her nephrologists, he spent a lot of time speaking directly to her. He drew her a nephron and explained about the filters. One thing that Mackenzie and I have in common is a stoic personality. We don’t show a lot of emotion. She listened and said she understood, but had no questions. At the end of the appointment, the doctor looked directly at her and told her not to worry. He told her that he will be running some tests and he will help figure out what she needs to do to be healthy. He explained to us the natural course and variability for IgA Nephropathy. I came away with the worse case scenario and Mackenzie heard the “don’t worry” part. I tried speaking to her several times that week to ask if she had any questions or anything she wanted to discuss. She cheerfully said no. I was concerned that she did not understand it all. Since she does keep her feelings close to her chest, should I try and get her to express them? A good friend gave me a piece of advice. “She’s got a lifetime to figure this out. Give her time” I took the advice and we spoke of scheduling biopsies, follow-up appointments, but never spoke of chronic kidney disease. My friend was right. It was only a week and during a walk, the questions started coming. I need to always respect her timing. I let her decide how we handle and what we discuss.
